


Crazy

by Ifwecansparkle



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Gen, Nightmares, PTSD, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ifwecansparkle/pseuds/Ifwecansparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do they make robots what are crazy?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy

The Spine doesn’t hate the wars because of the things he saw. He’s not angry because the humans started wars and sent him to clean it up. He’s not angry because he had to watch good men—friends of his—die all around him. He’s not angry at the realization that he couldn’t die with them.

He’s angry because his brothers had to be there, too. It’s etched into them—HatchWorth’s near suicidal need to care for everyone else, the way The Jon hides at the first roll of thunder, Rabbit’s creaking joints and stammering voice box and and haunted photoreceptors in those moments where he glitches and memory meshes with reality.

 

Believe it or not, some nights Rabbit goes into stasis just fine. Some evenings he wears himself out and placidly goes and finds a quiet corner to rest in. Other evenings he does anything within his power to keep from letting his subconscious take over. Some nights he bounces around like a disobedient child and wails when Mister Reed says he has to rest. He uses the tone of a kid who fears the monsters under his bed—but they all know he’s never going to outgrow those monsters. That’s why, on nights when he can feel it coming, he tries to keep them at bay.

On those nights The Spine never considers retiring to the Hall of Wires. Instead he waits nearby, ready for the Hell that is on its way. Rabbit’s manic, erratic nights are a sure sign that something bad is coming. The Spine is always the first to respond when Rabbit wakes up screaming his voice box into convulsions. The Spine is the one who blocks out the images suddenly flooding his Wi-Fi and holds Rabbit until the screaming and the shaking and the sobbing stops.

“It’s okay, Rabbit. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, The Spine… I tried to save them I—I—I—I—I—”

He holds him tighter until he can grasp at words again.

“I t—tried…”

“Shh. I know, Rabbit. It was just a dream. Shh.”

“Why can’t—why can’t—why can’t I forget ‘em?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re supposed to remember for some reason. Colonel Walter wanted us to be empathetic. I guess maybe you’re programmed that way—”

“No!” Rabbit shrieks, because if he’s programmed that way that means he can never get rid of it. “Nonononono…Pappy wouldn’t—wouldn’t—wouldn’t do that to me! Nonononono…”

“Alright, alright,” The Spine murmurs, cringing because he knows he said the wrong thing. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Maybe it’s another glitch? We’ll let Mister Reed run diagnostics in the morning and see what we can do, okay?”

They’ve run those diagnostics hundreds of times, all unsuccessfully. There’s something more in those nightmares, some kind of glitch that the best mechanic in the world can’t miracle away. Something in The bot’s mind that so far no one has been able to get rid of yet.

Rabbit shakes and shakes and shakes, but it doesn’t feel like a tic or a glitch. When he speaks again it’s a hicoughing rasp into his shirtfront. “The Spine?”

“Yeah?”

“Do they make robots what are crazy?”

He feels something within him grind to a halt and then restart again. He holds Rabbit even tighter, determined to fight away all the monsters his brother can’t face. “No way,” he whispers.


End file.
